mr.stranger

someone asked me to post something about him.. and yeah here is it.. btw sorry kinda late post about you because you know that I forgot my google email and I can't login my account.. okay lets start. hurmmm how to start ahh . hahaha ermm I got a nickname for him. we just call him mr.s :) I don't want to mention his name here.. he is 18 years old too. and the question is how we meet? or how can we know each other? and the answer is its all about WeChat..kinda funny right? he added me and me pun viewed lar his moments and I just think like okay handsome so accept la. hahahha then after a few minutes after I clicked the accept button then he chat with me.
mr.s: hi, thanks accept me..
me: ohh okay!
 then after that bla bla blaaa chat n chat.. after a few days later we exchange num phone then no more WeChat now Whatsapp already, lol
sorry I don't have his picture to post here.. then our first time meet each other is yesterday. he joined the IPCF welcoming party for senior and junior at kubah.. (inter poly christian fellowship) and yes its kinda awkward there. HAHA before this we only chatting . anddd again its more awkward when we are at same group. group 3 :/ but at last okay jugala. heee then after that in the evening he ask me about first aid kit. kinda pity on him coz his knee hurt. then again we meet for the second time at cafe. I gave him plaster. thats all lar too long already my post about him..

Life's in POLIKU

room. 1st day..

hi all!! its december baby,, so it's meant that christmas is just around the corner.. btw now i'm studying at polytechnic kuching, sarawak. it's been two weeks i'm here.. 24 november was my first day here.. I just can't believe that I can go far away from my family. HAHA I'm still daddy's little girl and its so hard for me to stay far away from my family.. all I can says is I MISS MY FAMILY badly. my first week at here was so worst. every night i'm crying because of homesick.. and one I still can't believe that I can live at hostel and do all the things by my own such as washing my shirt and so on...

 now I want to tell you all about my roommate..

roommate

  oya, my roommate is a girl from miri, sarawak. her name is ROWENA LUCY :) she is too nice and talkative just like me. hahaha and the most important thing is she love to taking picture just like me :)) her race is kayan.

then, i got many friends here, boleh katakan jadi bestie sudah. :D
this is my new friends here.. yes we're 1 Malaysia. Mitchell poniey- iban, rowena lucy-kayan, grace-iban,  jidos- iban..
and I'm the only one sabahan :)

 
 

hey!I'm Backkkk!!

I haven't blogged in over a month. All I can say is it was a crazy, wonderful, terrifying, busy, a filled with so much love and more blessings than I ever thought that I deserved. so until now I'm still single babyy.. am I forever alone? all I can say is I feel alone, sometimes... I learn to let go then you catch me again. Its like we're playing tag and I can never run far enough away.. it's true, when they say memories haunt you, they're not lying.. the memories keep bringing me back..

I hate forcing myself to let go of a person that I want in my life.. it is the only thing that makes sense but at the same time, its the same thing that complicates me. I know I am better off without that person yet I feel empty whenever I try to let go. so now I wanna ask, is emptiness better than pain?

confession 1: I still love you.stupid!

My First Strength

Ok.. I was broken-hearted and it was soo terrible.. I was crying everynight and even everytime I remember people that I totally love.. Life extremely changed to be hard, soo hard..

This was my first healing section. My friend, who knew that I suffered from broken heart, asked me to watch the video on Youtube. I watched it and I was touched with the lyric..

Someday - Nina

Someday you’ll gonna realize

One day you’ll see this through my eyes

But then i won’t even be there

I’ll be happy somewhere

Even if i can’t

I know

You don’t really see my worth

You think your the last guy on earth

Well I’ve got news for you

I know I’m not that strong

But it won’t take long

Won’t take long

Chorus

 Coz someday, someone’s gonna love me

The way, i wanted you to need me

Someday, someone’s gonna take your place

One day I’ll forget about you

You’ll see, i won’t even miss you

Someday, someday

But now

I know you can’t tell

I’m down,and I’m not do anyway

But one day these tears

They will all run dry

I won’t have to cry

Sweet goodbye

Chorus

 Coz someday, someone’s gonna love me

The way, i wanted you to need me

Someday, someone’s gonna take your place

One day I’ll forget about you

You’ll see, i won’t even miss you

Someday, someday

I was still crying after hearing this song. Broken heart is not as easy as hearing  a song and then becoming strong forever. It doesn’t make the pain goes away directly, yes. But the song makes me stronger! because it tells about hope, that SOMEDAY, there will be someone for us, who is better and love us, and need us.. I am on my way to prove that the lyric is true ^_^

MISS forever alone? am I?

Lately, my friends have been getting a boyfriend, or at least someone special in their lives they consider as a crush. Then there’s lil’ ol’ me, Miss Forever Alone. I don’t even know why I’m writing this post right now when I’ve told myself that I shouldn’t have a crush or something remotely close to a boyfriend until I finish study at least. But I’ve been hoping that you come to me soon. Because to be honest, I’ve been waiting for you my entire life. I have been single for 9months after im broke up with someone that I really really really LOVE . 

I guess I should clarify that when I write boyfriend, I also mean best friend.  I don’t want to be yours just for the sake of being able to say I belong to someone. Everyone starts of as friends at first. There’s a reason I’ve been waiting for you..you aren’t going to be just a phase or a crush.  I’m too careful with my heart to let that happen. Please don’t get frustrated at me if it takes me a while to tell you things that I usually bury deep inside of myself.  I’m just not used to being able to trust someone so completely.  

I’d be shocked if I were to ever call you mine. I know all the girls want you, and who wouldn’t? You’re smart, funny, not to mention handsome. You have everything I like in a guy ;)  We’re complete opposites, but we have a ton of stuff in common. Yeah, I’m that outgoing, bubbly chick always talking and you’re that quiet, mysterious guy (which I totally love about you).

I just want you to know that I’ve waited so long to find you to hangout with me,I want to forget about time, forget about worries, I want to have pictures of us together.  I want to look into your eyes and see a future that brings me peace.  To find the easy silence, the peaceful quiet. I want you  to hold my hand . I want you to watch love story movies with me. I won’t be the girlfriend who makes you pay for everything, I won’t expect you to be the perfect guy that does everything right. You don’t have to be Prince Charming.

I’m not very pretty, I hope that doesn’t bother you. Oh, and by the way, I’m a hopeless romantic. So, you’re gonna have to be a bit sappy if you want to impress me. Also, I can read people, so don’t even try to hide anything from me. It’s pointless. It may seem like the things in my life don’t affect me, but they do. You can never tell me that I’m beautiful too many times, and don’t say I love you right away, because I may not believe it. I love to have excuses to dress up. Never be afraid to show affection, even in public, if I do get uncomfortable I will tell you. I understand that people get into fights but please, just don’t hurt me. I've had it enough in my short life. 

I may be moody, and not know how to explain why I’m upset at times. There are periods of time when I’m too depressed, and I can be hyperactive. You’re going to be so annoyed at me and will probably be cursing yourself for ever deciding to date me. I’m immature, too opinionated and I cry over sappy movies. But I promise I’ll care for you, and love you for you. All I want is to hold your hand and be there for you when you need me. I also want to bake you cookies when you’re having a rough day. Let me be your shoulder to lean on..

I know you’ll be sweet and kind to me, and when we fight I’ll back away for a bit longer than most people, but I promise I’ll stay.

I’m not the perfect girlfriend, but I’ll try my 

hardest for you.

Love me for me, and please be true.

For us to last, you can’t be my whole life, but I want you to be the best part of it.  I don’t want a certain romance, a certain setting.  All I need is a heart that is kind and open to what I want to give it. Because that’s just how my personality works. All I need is love, and all I've ever wanted is you.

To be completely honest I don’t know what I want. I’m really indecisive. I will most likely try and push you away because that’s how I try to keep people from hurting me. I can’t promise that loving me will be easy, but I’m hoping that you stick it out. I know that I may seem so tough but really I am one of the most sensitive people you will ever meet. When I love someone I love them with everything I have. I won’t give into peer pressure, so please don’t try and pressure me into situations.

I know that you’re somewhere out there waiting for me the same way I am here waiting for you. I will wait for you as long as it takes because I know that you are perfect for me. i'm waiting for you mr. RIGHT :)

VALENTINE'S day(HAPPY FOREVER ALONE DAY!)

ohhh so its valentine day today? okay all I can say is I feel pathetic because I'm single :/
My Valentines day may have been not so great, but one thing is for sure is that I realized I love myself. Being alone for this day isn’t all that bad because it just showed me that I honestly have to accept that you’ll be alone sometimes. And being alone, you tend to learn a lot about yourself. Instead of losing yourself for someone else, you just focus on you mainly. Although the day may be a reminder of why you’re single, why that one guy/girl dumped you, or an old love. It still can have a positive outcome. I realized today that I love myself. And in order to love someone else, you have to learn to love yourself. For all your flaws, for all your past experiences, hurts, etc. Knowing that you’re fine, you’re a good catch, that you are just the most amazing person ever without the assumed cocky attitude. And then, you can say “I am ready for love.” So for all you single people who were crying, feeling bad, sad, depressed, “life sucks”,“i’m flying s0lo”, etc. Remember to take this time or anytime to reflect on your life & that you don’t need anyone to complete you, and that love will come. May not be on your time, but sooner or later, you’ll see it, you’ll feel it, and you’ll fall in it. Just like the saying goes, “You never know.” :)

Dear girls,

“Date a guy who waits. Date that someone who has the patience to be with you no matter how long it takes for you to make a decision to give that yes to his proposal. He can never let you go and will do whatever it takes just to have a stable and healthy relationship with you.

He is someone who has determination that makes him standout among the rest of the crowd. He believes that patience is an important virtue.

Find the guy who is willing to wait. That person who knows the value of time and uses time wisely. You can never go wrong with a guy who knows time management and someone who knows how to set his priorities in life.

Date that person who understands your decision on when you’re ready to get married, to have kids or to be able to make major decisions about your life. He doesn’t disregard time in the relationship.

He is a guy who doesn’t rush things. He takes the baby steps but he is sure of what road to take and how will he take his journey on that road. He believes that what is supposed to happen, will happen in the right place and in the right time.”